Healing

Written June 2013:

Almost simultaneously as I passed through the hotel lobby doors, a peculiar, awful feeling arose. It was like chest pain, heaviness, a sorrow, something that I really can’t explain. Out of the blue my excitement for the moment was masked by this incredible weight and pain. For a split second I could not understand the reason for that reaction. Then it struck me.

I was meeting my family at a resort in Hilton Head Island, SC for a family vacation. We had actually been to this same resort before; we had found such an incredible deal and loved the place so much. Our prior vacation to this location had been two years ago, almost to the date. When this overwhelming emotion pounded me, I immediately understood why. During the vacation two years ago I had been enduring the most pain I have ever experienced in my life. Looking back, it almost seems a haze - a horrible, dark, cloudy haze. It is amazing, the connection between the five senses and emotions. It was as if walking through those lobby doors made me relive that pain for about five seconds. I couldn’t breathe.

As I began to understand the reason for this fall of emotion, it was like a sense of relief, peace, gratitude washed over me. God immediately showed me the beauty of this situation. “Look at how I have healed you” He spoke to me; “look at what I have done in two years”. In these moments, not only did I recognize the healing, it was so much more! I felt the richness of life, my heart overflowed with gratitude, I saw the beauty of my pain – the journey it carried me on. I recognized the strength that I have gained through the Lord. I felt the peace He has bestowed on me.

I remembered the words that I wrote almost to date two years ago. God had made Himself known to me in this exact same place at that time. He gave me hope – a beginning, a glimmer of hope. He gave me His word that that wrenching pain would be a blessing, that the unbearable pain would turn into unbelievable joy. Two years later, at Hilton Head Island, SC I began to fully recognize the fruition of His promises. God is good.

Two years ago God had whispered to me that though my pain was excruciating and it seemed life would never be pain free, that with time I would be grateful for the painful experiences. As James says, “count it all joy when you fall into various trials” (Ja 1:2), I realize the magnitude of those statements, the truth in the words that we should take to heart. The experience of enduring such pain brought me closer to the Lord than ever, and has led me on a path to peace and joy. I had the special opportunity to experience this revelation at the exact location and time of the year. I walked into that hotel on May 28th, 2013, two years to the date of the day that brought me so much pain. I marvel at how God works. In that moment I was in utter amazement at what God has done in my life in exactly two years and am so thankful for the experience that He gave me, the special way He displayed what He has done for me on this journey.

(As I suffered through my pain, there were those in my life who were such a support to me. Others had experienced such pain, understood my agony, sympathized with me, felt my sorrow along with me, and help lighten the burden. Those individuals’ stories also helped give me hope and their support was more than they will ever know. Thank God for putting others in our lives to help us carry our burdens. I pray that my story and testimony will be even a fraction of help to someone